THE SOURCE OF ALL GOODNES Friday, Feb 5 2010

Found this 1 tucked on my blog i abandoned 2 yrs ago…AND I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT ALL OVER AGAIN!!!….see why;
sept 22nd 2007
So i’m growing up quickly , and there’s me thinking, the source of all goodness lyes behind the hottest wheels…den tym proved me wrong when my uncle gave me a ride in dat chrysler.

so i’m still thinking, it must be in making the best grades, and becoming a contemporary prototype of what scholarliness is all about…den my high school grades came in…with joy at first den routine returned.

and i thot this sweet ,fly gurl could do it, or dis hot new look, or so many friends, or popularity…… but nada, zilch ,fintito,bonito…NOTHING could be the source of what it is jus a product or side effect of.

then 1 day i jus wanted to check how sunny it was, so i looked into the skies ,….and “o blaeme!!!” (i love cockney_) ,twas there all my blessed years, staring down the whole tym, ryt by my side ,it had been b4 me the whole tym, and i was still searching, so i started to read about this ‘source of all good things wannabe’, i read it from the Breath I Breathe and Live by Everyday , and everything’s changed now ,my dominoes arent falling apart, they are falling into place… God is the source of all good things ,and the Bible proves it, i dare u to try to disprove it.

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THE SCIENCE OF KEEPING YOUR MAN…IF YOU WANT TO- AN OVERVIEW Friday, Feb 5 2010

I watched a classic movie a short while back; its theme was ethically controversial; in that the nature of the main character’s business enterprise had to do with helping cheating partners to not get caught; hence its name; the ALIBI.

In its opening scene, the most profound statement was made; “its not cheating or infidelity that breaks up relationships…it is getting CAUGHT cheating that breaks the relationship.” But don’t get it twisted, this piece isn’t about tips to not get caught cheating…its about how to make it very irrelevant for your man to cheat on you, its about how to raise your game soo high that playing becomes the last thing on his mind.

I’ve heard more than a couple of ladies say; “all you guys are the same.” Well I’m sorry to burst your bubble honey ,because all us guys aren’t the same, at worst we are different shades of the same color, where for the purpose of clarity, lets say the most intellectually sophisticated guys with the tightest game are charcoal-coffee brown, and the guys at the other end of the scale are egg-whitish-brown. Obviously, there are some differences.

Fact 2, guys in one way or another, at one time or the other, seek opinion and/or approval from one or some guy friends of his about his babe…TRUST ME!!, we all wanna know what the boys think of our babe, and its not a cheap reassurance ploy…its jus the way it is, and the good news is, you can use it to your advantage.

Fact 3, all girlfriends fall under 3 major headings; the “what on earth did you see in her?” kind, the “awww I’m so happy for you man, she’s great for you” kind and then finally, the “meeeeehhhnnn, u r 1 darn lucky lad, I WISH SHE WAS MINE!!” category, and take it from me ladies, there’s a clear crisp difference among all them 3…and you wanna be in the last one, cos that’s where the sustainability is.

Please bear in mind, its not enough that he’s a church-going man who loves you, because seriously, the whole love thing is very overrated these days if you ask me, and in the recipe for a sustained relationship, love and going to church alone don’t put the beans in the waakye…they just color it and give it some taste, the beans is in the next paragraph onwards.

So, how do u get there?

Mind you, if your man is egg-whitish brown, you aint got to read any further…he’s gonna want to keep you for life even if all you can do is say the alphabet backwards or do ‘amazing’ things like being able to eat with both hands at the same time. But if your man has any bit of sophistication (which is desirable) then the first and basic thing you have to work on is impressing him.
Over-doing it might intimidate him, but that kinda guy isn’t even deep brown (if you get what I mean). If you do that well, he’ll always be looking forward to the next show-and-tell or hope you always run into people he knows.

And this is rather broad, because it cuts across demeanor to dressing. I’m going to try to touch on a bit of each. But in all, moderation is key.
You don’t need to flaunt your assets to keep your man…it takes away the curiosity (another key), and the challenge in getting to see them when the time is right.

Don’t be overly submissive, because it gets boring and guys love ladies who are firm and resolute in their beliefs and compromise only when it’s utterly vital, that includes not apologizing too much, even for things you didn’t do wrong. Believe it or not, being stubborn is sooo much an attractive feature in girls; it keeps you on his mind-whether he likes it or not. The problem is knowing how much stubbornness is enough, because if you overdo it, it becomes unbearably annoying.

You don’t have to agree with everything he says, PLEASE, be opinionated and independent minded, a calm disagreement with good reason keeps you on his mind…and that’s ultimately what you want to do. It really sets you apart, because chances are, if he’s a hunk you can keep him only by being original and outstanding, from as many previous and current girls he knows as possible.

Knowing how to cook is a major plus, it kinda says, “please, don’t let the manicure fool you, my fingers are 10 magic wands on to pretty hands.” Try not to be too much of a gossip; you come off as too typical and dependent. Being discrete is the key here.

You’ve got to know how to handle it when you are getting jealous. Guys like it when their women get moderately jealous, but it’s how they handle it that makes all the difference. I dig a girl who’ll give me a long rope, but will clearly and firmly state my limits and not hesitate to walk out if she has to.

What does it for me personally, is when a girl knows how to tease without being frustrating. You’ve got to know how to tease your man to be able to keep him, but you’ve got to know what shade of brown he is to know how to do that well. He must always be wanting something from you; either your attention your approval, your calls….you name it, if you do this right, this is what he’ll be saying to his friends “I CANT HAVE ENOUGH OF HER” if you hear your man say this and mean it, you can be comfortable about thinking long-term. What this means is there shouldn’t be excess supply of anything, but it shouldn’t also be so scarce that he’ll have to wait till Christmas. Bring it close, then take it back and deliver it when it’ll make the greatest impact. Every guy wants to be a good part of his woman’s world…not all of it!

You’ve got to have a decent basket of virtues yourself, because it is virtues that put the weight in you. The most ideal place to have that is in Church. Almost every –if not every- man wants to settle down with a virtuous woman. My pastor once said; “if u get him with your face powder, keep him with your baking powder.” Many guys will envy a guy with a sexy, liberal not-too-many-questions-asked girlfriend, but all those guys will laugh so hard at him when he decides to engage her, it’ll only be a matter of time before he realizes she is the costume that brings out the clown in him.

In conclusion, if any level-headed deep brown guy walks out on you for doing all the above things I’ve suggested in the right proportions, the hardest thing will be watching him walk away, but please, please, please don’t chase after him (you must make sure you are right in this case). It’ll only be a matter of time before he comes back…more deserving of you, and if you’ve done everything right, it is his friends and the inadequacies in all the other girls he’ll meet which will bring him running back to you. Guys think, we do, and we know good things when we see them. We can be conveniently blind to them for a while…but sooner than later, they hit us HARD! And our ego lets way to common sense, and it’s at a time like that YOU determine the pace, the conditions or whether at all you still want him back.

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SEE WHAT WE’VE BECOME….IMAGINE US 15 YEARS FROM NOW. Friday, Feb 5 2010

I was calling a friend just last week Tuesday at around 8:30am because I’d missed her badly and just wanted to say hello, but she didn’t pick up. I got a txt a couple of minutes later that read; “hi darl, missed u bunch! making a presentation at a board meeting right now, allow me to get back to you as soon as I’m done.” Then it hit me like a stray bullet! “We’re in the next phase already”.

That Saturday when my good old friend from Presec times; TT came to visit, it was getting to the end of the conversation that I realized that almost the whole time he’d been there, we’d been talking about our CEOs, what the future held for our respective companies, the nature of office politics, strategies we were employing to advance our long-term career objectives and the like. Then it hit me even harder!!!

From the days when we used to be late to the dining hall, when we’ll frantically ask the ‘Enter-pee’ (entertainment prefect) whether he could show the newly released MATRIX at entertainment on Saturday, when adrenaline flowed through our veins at the thought of breaking bounds, when we looked forward to the next ‘inter-co’ like it was a speech-and-prize giving day, and girls in ponk (barbed hair) were the kind of girls we dreamed of .

Through to the days when our 1st 2nd and 3rd terms became just 1st and 2nd semesters, and we formed long queues to register for courses we wouldn’t even understand a thing of by the time the sem. was over. We got late for LECTURES and listened to long ‘I-remember-when-i-was-your-age’ speeches from our lecturers, because that’s what our TEACHERS metamorphosised into. We became obsessed with travelling,wrote IAs and mid-sems, agitated for inner rooms and filled our wardrobes with lacostes and jeans wear we weren’t too eager to repeat, or tank tops and Budha shorts (my fave). Browning, narrowing, representing at all drink-ups and downs, hall weeks and beach parties……

And now, now we’ve got alarms set at 4:00am, we hardly get to wear our designer jeans and snickers because we MUST be in a neatly ironed formal attire all week through. We’ve either been disgusted by or mastered the art off ass-kissing and boot-licking. We ‘pri’ to get to work early and miss breakfast just so we can be behind our DESKS 2hrs before our reporting time so our CEOs (what our lecturers became) will see themselves in us…how they started out-lol,if you don’t think that’s funny you’ve probably been doing it yourself-. Every weekend is highly anticipated, and we’re lucky when we get them to ourselves. We no longer get money for free from our folks. The best they can do is to lend it to us. We understand more why back then in school, the workers were always looking forward to holidays we were having almost every day.

Our diction and jargon has changed to SAP and Agency Agreements for us payroll and real estate guys, C-SPAN for the insurance people, DELIVERABLES, TARGETS and what-nots. 3-squared meals is more like 3 big deals, because we leave home too early to have breakfast, have too much to do to have lunch, and get home too late and tired to have supper…so we just slip something in whenever we can. We make friends in traffic, because it’s the same bunch of cars we queue up with every single day for hours on end to get to both work and home. When we go to the mall almost everyone there looks so much younger and childish, almost all our prior-work priorities and fantasies seem rather immature now…..uhhhhh, do you identify with any of this? I do, and that makes me wonder…

Will we change again from how we are now? Will who we are now be a stranger to who we’ll become in like 10 years? Will we regret or reminisce? Will we relish in what we’ve become or wish we were 23 again? Lol, I fancy calling you up for drinks on a fine Saturday and hearing you say “cant Ben, have to be at a PTA meeting”. The times when you go to car showrooms and check out the Station wagon section and drool over the newest family-size Vans…totally oblivious of the fact that the porches and sleek saloons were on display on the section you passed by. You don’t even care who’s around when you fart anymore….you’re too old to care. You keep hearing ‘Dad/Mom’ and ‘Mid-life Crisis’ in the same sentences too often!! You seriously consider whether you want to go into Politics or into full-time Ministry. Lol, I could give you check-signs for the next couple of pages, but I’m sure you catch my fart -ei sorry, I meant drift-( I’m still quite a young man, I car who knows it when I do).

The funniest thing happened on an elevator ride to my office the other day. You see, where I work, there are 8 floors of different companies, and I’m on the 3rd. I entered it that faithful morning with about 7 other people going to different floors. We get to the 1st floor, and then there’s a funny ‘farty’ noise followed by a serious foul smell!!! Mehnnn,if you were me you’lda leaped for joy when the elevator door opened on the 3rd floor!! The whole lot of them were going to the 7th and 8th floors…I suspected the old man, lol, why should he care??!!

My point is; life doesn’t run on electricity, so it doesn’t pause or stop for us just because we flick the switch or ECG puts out the lights…it still runs, each one of us is a living proof. So it makes sense to plan, to pray, plan and pray some more, so you don’t end up farting everyone’s day into the bin just because you are too old to care. Then find a good person to love, because you look 9 years older when you’re 34 and still romantically misplaced, I figure, lol.

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HOW TO STOP SAYING SO MANY F***KS AND SH**TS IN A DAY- a liberating mindset. Friday, Feb 5 2010

It doesn’t matter how skilled you are, how good or gifted, how fine you are, how rich or ‘dorsted’, some days are yours and some just aren’t! Living with reality and making the best of it is a gift, if you weren’t born with it, no worries, its on sale at the shop right upstairs (wink). I intend to give you the coins to make the purchase, I hope you do, I hope I do too.

If you’re reading this, and you’ve never felt jealous or envious, if you’ve never wished you looked a certain way, or had that guy or drove home in that car, or got that compliment, or got posted to that prestigious company, then turn around and lemme see the wings behind you, because apparently all angels are supposed to have a pair.

I remember one time I was darn broke i.e, i didn’t have fokko!! And I was walking down this road, and there was this random guy behind me, most likely not as broke as I was, but he spotted that GHC 1 I just passed by and went for it, and didn’t even have the decency to just shut up…he had to shout for joy! Daaammmnn!! E go me pass, the guy get the cash, chheeaapp. Never desired a 1 cedi more in my life! That’s just one of the many times i-like all regular humans- have had an experience that’s made me a bit (understatement) covetous. The most recent time was when I wasn’t 1 of the few guys who got the 1st class-Econs Major (& I could’ve gotten it, but 4 that 1 darn course!! ). E go me, but I chanced upon a certain mindset that helps waa;

Sometimes good things happen to you, some times they don’t. Some girls you get, some aren’t meant to be yours. Sometimes it’s good news, other times its bad. Sometimes you are smarter, other times you get swindled. Some times you get game, other times you’re lame. Sometimes you beat traffic, other times your ass’ whooped! Sometimes the world stops to peek at you, other times it just doesn’t notice that you’re the afro guy in the bright orange shirt sitting by the glass window on the 6th floor of that bright purple building on the Oxford street! Sometimes you pull the trigger, other times you are the victim…so what? ei sorry I meant SOO darn WHAATTTT??!! Shit happens…live with it, or better still, turn it into electricity (you know it can be done right?)

I read the most profound line some time back; “if they say you can’t go any further, tell them to look how far you’ve come already.” You see, the world we live in is dynamic, it’s the God we serve who’s still the same. Last year by this time, even guys were using lip gloss to save their lips from the harsh skin-tearing harmattan, this year the fogs aren’t thick even over the Aburi hills. Bad doesn’t stay, unless we detain it with the ‘please-don’t-go’ attitude. It’s quite easy to forget that the misfortune that befell you today had been passing you by for twenty something years…or less, but don’t turn the tickle into a rash.

Anticipate the good times; think how much better you’ll treat the good times because of all you’ve learnt in this bad time. Anticipate the good boss, think how much more you’ll appreciate him because of this mean one you have, just look forward to the better days, because when it gets so bad, it can only get better.

When something happens and I’m just 2 milliseconds away from the F and S words, I just go like “ooo, so this’ how it feels like to be broke, or sad, or disgusted, or browned, or overlooked, or….you name it” then I remember some time in the immediate past when it wasn’t like that, and look at the present in the future’s eye. I think how insignificant today’s ‘yawa’ will be in tomorrow’s eyes. And you don’t have to have it all figured out, a modest dose of self-confidence helps a lot.

Thing is, you can only do this if you have a reliable source of strength, and hope. If it’s in a green bottle then you’re in major trouble if Accra breweries decide to close down. If its in anything finite, very limited and destructible, then your hope is just that also. But if it’s in something more permanent and infinite…like God, now that’s a whole new ball game, it’s like having the referee on your team and in your jersey…imagine that!!

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AFTER-SEX THOGUHTS Friday, Feb 5 2010

RATED 18:

Usually what you see right after the hot steamy passionate sex scene in most movies is the woman covered only in a bed sheet, reminiscing the just-ended glorious coitus in dreamland and thinking how fantastic the rest of their lives together’s gonna be with her prince charming by her side against the whole world… and the guy is usually in nothing but boxers; either sitting at the edge of the bed or looking through the window with his hand holding up his chin with this look on his face as if searching for the answer to the question his stone-cold silence is screaming above the movie’s background music; “how on earth did I end up in this stinking mess???!!!””

The answer to that question is in a rather explicit but deeply profound statement I heard some time back, and if you aren’t at least 18 yrs old, PLEASE STOP READING RIGHT HERE!!! Well, thus saith the statement; “an erected penis hath no conscience” and I concur, otherwise right BEFORE he defiled her, the 60 something year old father would THINK of the grave consequences of an uncontrolled libido on his liberty, and the future of his 12 and1/2 year old girl.

Did you hear the explanation the 49 year old the man who defiled his teenage daughter gave to the judge just last month? “Your Honor, I forgot my 46 year old wife had gone for a funeral over the weekend and thought it was actually my wife i was in bed with.” No kidding this actually happened, and you can read the full story on my joy online; http://news.myjoyonline.com/news/200912/39540.asp
But let’s not get carried away, this piece isn’t about retarded perverts or erotic movies (my pastor could be reading this you know, lol), it’s about the ‘sex scenes’ in each of our lives, and how we just only conveniently realize how inappropriate the ‘deed’ is only after we ‘climax’.

Why do we WONDER how we got in a certain addictive situation after we’ve consciously repeated the same vice over and over again? We feel embarrassed about how little self-control we have over our little ‘sex-scenes’ and we sit at the edge of our ‘beds’ regretting that we selfishly led another sweet girl on, smoked another cigar, told him another lie, watched another pornographic movie, disappointed God again.

Every time you look back and realize you’ve strayed so far from what you actually believe in and stand for….again!! it’s only brave to realize that it didn’t JUST HAPPEN! You didn’t accidentally slip and fall right into her (some guy’s excuse for sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend). It happened one slip at a time, till you could rationalize it in your mind long enough for it to be alright to do it ‘just 1 more time’. Then the ripping, wrenching state sets in when your conscience kicks in…then we ask the same old boring question again; “how on earth did I end up in this stinking mess??!!!”

Why must ‘yawa’ always pae before we realize how immature or stupid or vain we can be? Is it possible to be brave enough to stop ourselves right in our tracks before things get shitty? Can we be more diligent, more in control? More sensitive to the effects our actions have on others? Can we keep our bodies as the temple of God that it actually is? Can we render our ‘after sex thoughts’ redundant?
In conclusion to a sermon she’d just preached, the lady-pastor said; “the weight of self-discipline is much much lighter than the load of regret”….than the weight of our ‘after-sex thoughts’. I concur!

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WHY I DECIDED TO START A BLOG- my reality check. Friday, Feb 5 2010

To provide witty, humorous and creatively inspiring writing to a vast range of people, whilst developing my skills as a writer. Thus, contributing to a better humanity by improving the individual lives of each reader by virtue of the high-quality refreshing content in what they read.

To serve as a conduit for me to share interesting knowledge, useful information and beneficial tips I might have gained from elsewhere. To use it as a launch pad and marketing tool for future big-scale writing projects.

 To create an interactive platform that will ultimately bring out the best in each of us, because each time someone signs up, our mastermind of creative intellectuals increases by 1…we become our own stepping stones.

To help me develop a greater deal of research and management ability and to continuously challenge my creativity and self discipline. Ultimately, to glorify God for endowing me with the beautiful gifts He has.

Silly reasons I should check for why I want to start a blog;

To become more popular, and show that yes! I’ve made it. To chase and make money. To impress people. To spite others

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